A Leader integrates both Feminine and Masculine qualities

Date: 17 December 2019 | Author: Edina de Jong – Hodzic

The topic of ‘balanced’ leadership is on the agenda of many companies and institutions for quite some years now. Some are looking for a solution in redefining the traits of a leader including a more feminine perspective. Others are putting in place KPI’s and quota’s to ‘push’ women to move into senior layers of power. Though, little results have been obtained so far. Why is that?

The answer is not on the outside (change of policies etc.), the answer lies inside us. Let me explain that. 90-95% of our behaviour is driven by patterns that we’re not consciously aware of. Yes, the number is correct! These patterns have started being programmed in our minds (by observing our environment) since our infanthood till approx. our 7th birthday. That means that most of the time we ‘operate’ from a (unconscious) childhood programming and we’re not aware of it.

In relation to the topic of diversity, if we want to transform this topic we should address the underlying beliefs (from our unconscious programming) around leadership. For example, one could be an advocate for diversity but if his/her unconscious belief is dictating that a leader is a masculine warrior archetype as we’ve learned throughout most of history (e.g. Emperor Caesar, Napoleon etc.) then this will determine his/her thoughts, following with feelings, actions and results. We learned to associate physical strength, domination, aggression, power and fighting with leadership. These are all traits of (wounded) masculine expression. When the moment comes to promote a female leader to a position of power, we are probably reluctant because this image that we have in our mind is not consistent with the image that is in front of us. And when our brain is presented with inconsistency, it always chooses the ‘safe’ option because it wants to keep us safe. Interestingly, there is no real danger in this topic right. We’re not fighting with dangerous animals, we’re merely deciding a ‘different’ gender for a position of power. Still, our ‘ego mind’ feels threatened and keeps us in a position of ‘comfort’, not change.

Our ‘old’ cultural beliefs have completely ruled out the feminine characteristics of intuition, wisdom, compassion, love, empathy, creativity as leadership traits. So we shouldn’t be surprised that we’re talking about this topic of Diversity for so long?
The truth is that we haven’t done the required deep work to bring to awareness our ‘unconscious’ collective beliefs and to decide collectively if they serves us and transform them.
Only by bringing awareness to those unconscious beliefs and patterns, we can transform them. We call this process ‘self discovery’. I would advise companies and leadership teams to bring this under the collective attention (collective self-discovery) and to follow up with individual self-discovery. This is a very powerful process that addresses the core of the issue and brings a sustainable change.
After we have unravelled our deeper beliefs and patterns we can start asking ourselves ‘What type of leader am I / do I want to be?’. If we start this process too early, our ‘ego mind’ will keep directing us back towards the ‘old beliefs’ because it wants us to be safe with no ‘desired’ change as a result. Therefore it’s necessary to take the time to unravel what is hidden inside our minds.

During my corporate career I have observed many bright and talented people having a tendency to wait for ‘people in power positions’ to define what type of leader they expect them to be. The truth is that we are the only ones who can determine what type of leader we are, not someone else. If we let others decide that for us, we choose their perceptions and beliefs of the world over our own. Why would we do that? We have to come into our own position of unique power and authenticity in order to lead from a real place of truth.

I envision that new generation leaders are besides integrating both their feminine and masculine qualities, also taking a path of self-discovery and self-growth in order to increase their level of self awareness and guide their teams on this path of evolution.
I believe that we’re living in an interesting time on planet earth where a leap in human evolution is taking place. Isn’t that the perfect moment to redefine ‘leadership’?
A leader could  be someone who’s combining her/his holistic nature of human ‘being’ to transform her/himself and with this holistic wisdom guide its people towards transformation and true empowerment. I refer to that as Holistic.Leadership. in my model for Thriving.Company.Cultures.

‘Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.’ – Carl Jung.